Hey there.
So some people may have noticed I haven't updated my 30 day challenge in like...3-4 weeks now? Major family emergency.
Basically, about 3-4 weeks ago, I hurt my back. I get lower back pain sometimes, and I tend to get a bad flare up every few years or so. It was so bad the first day that I couldn't straighten up, and had to use a walking stick -__- The next day I was able to straighten, but I was on painkillers and heat patches. I'm normally the carer for my dad, but that day he was looking after me.
A few hours later, he's sat in his armchair in agony and asks my brother to phone for an ambulance. He'd been having some stomach cramps off and on for about 2 weeks, and they were back with a vengeance.
As a carer and living at home, I tend to be the one who takes my parents to the hospital when emergencies crop up. My parents are both disabled, and I'm registered as my dad's carer. But obviously, being a carer is difficult while you're also in pain. As my brother was there I asked him if he would accompany dad to the hospital instead.
He fucking refused because
he had a driving lesson in the morning. I was so shocked by his priorities that I couldn't say anything. I mean, I get that the lessons are important, but more important than needing to go to the hospital?
So yup. I basically had to take more painkillers, stock my bag with an extra heat patch and some gel, get changed (which was not easy. I nearly ended up asking my brother to pull my trousers up -__-)
It turned out that my dad's condition was so serious that they ended up operating at 3am. They did an ultrasound and discovered a hole in his bowel. While operating, they discovered a tumor in the bowel, which is what had caused the hole. The surgeon took all that out (cancerous, but they're extremely confident that they took it all out). It turns out that dad also had a heart attack during surgery.
So, the surgery was quite extensive. They had to take a lot of the big bowel out, and some of the little bowel. I'm not going to go into details here, coz it's quite disgusting. But he basically wears a bag on the side of his stomach now.
He got put on a high dependency ward for about a week, during which he was quite out of it as they hooked him up to morphine. I've never had morphine, but apparently it makes you hallucinate like mad.
So after 3 weeks he was able to come home. He has to take medication 4 times a day, as well as changing the bag. Apparently the nurses have a really awful attitude about this, which really pisses me off. Dad has arthritis, particularly in his hands. This makes doing things that we all take for granted quite difficult. These bags are normally used for a few days, with an opening at the bottom of the bag for you to empty when necessary. Sounds simple, open and close. But it's not simple when your hands are arthritic, so a really nice nurse at the hospital gave dad the disposable bags, but apparently these cost like £4 (around $6) a bag, and you're throwing them away about 3-4 times a day. I mean, I know that it's expensive and I know that the NHS likes to
be stingy bastards save money, but the alternative is that there's a big risk that while emptying the bag, he will end up dropping it. And if they insist on him using those bags and my carpet gets messed up, I'm sending them the cleaning bill.
This week has been particularly awful because I'm so stressed out. I take Kalms at night so that I can sleep. But the worst part is my mum. My mum is quite a selfish and bitchy person. She feels that it should be her who should be looked after the most, even though her medical conditions are nowhere near as bad as dad's are. Case in point, I can't legally claim Carer's Allowance for her, because her disability status isn't as high as dad's is. She I believe is classed as middle, while dad is classed as high.
So, on Saturday (3 days after dad had come out of hospital), she wanted to go to a fair that a local church were holding. I initially turned her down on Friday, and she had a fucking temper tantrum about it. Knowing this would only stress out my dad, and knowing that he'd rest better if she was not around, I called my brother to make sure he'd be in on Saturday, which I went out with her.
On the way to the church, she suddenly started telling me that I'm pandering to my dad to much, and I shouldn't keep asking him if he's all right. That she's annoyed that I keep asking him that, and if he wants anything to eat or drink.
I was so mad. He had only just come out of fucking hospital. His stomach has gone down in size not because of weight loss, but because some of his organs have been taken out. The surgery has left him really weak, and I worry about him simply because he tends to grunt or moan when he moves, and it's hard to tell if that's a general older person moan, or if he's in pain. His appetite has gone down a lot. He loves to eat mountain of foods, and now he's eating like one sandwich.
It also pissed me off that whenever she has been taken to hospital, or had a flare up of cellulitis, I have always been looking after her. I have had to wash vomit from her bedding and sleepwear. I have had to cut dead skin off the bottom of her feet (totally disgusting).
Wednesday was particularly bad. I was tired, stressed out to hell, and she's calling me a stupid bitch for getting the date of a fucking TV show wrong (it was on the day after). She also called me a stupid bitch the week before for forgetting to buy stuffing for dinner. This is the thing with my mum. You can make the best meal ever, but if you forget one item, she won't just see it's a mistake and let it go. She will go on and on about it for days. She even told all her friends about it. Why??? I'm surprised she didn't write to the fucking local newspaper with that hot story. Extra, Extra! Sunday dinner without stuffing shocker!
Slightly less stressed out today. My dad's feeling up to going to see his friends in the local park tomorrow to watch cricket, so I'm going to Meadowhall (shopping centre). They're doing a Superheroes weekend, and there's going to be an exhibition of rare and valuable comics